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Eff Sh*t Up Friday – Othering women is so 2018 and I wish I had a better title for this blog

Back in 2014 I published an article called “Social Justice Advocacy in the Belly of the Beast”. In that article I talked about how the OTHERING of women’s bodies allows lawmakers to pass legislation that, “force a woman to remain pregnant in order to keep her position clear in society, stripping her of her autonomy over her own body.”


The OTHERING of women doesn’t just stop with men in power.

In fact, the OTHERING of women is largely perpetrated by other women. And it is horrifying. This is remarkably apparent in the social justice world. A world where we are supposed to be advocating for each other and lifting each other up.

These stories happen over and over and over again:

  1. This week a friend of mine was told that because she didn’t comment on a piece of legislation publicly she, “is a garbage human being. Kill yourself. You are a bad person.” Other women did this to her. Publicly. Online.

  2. Another friend of mine posted that a woman told her, “you are a contradiction, you need to change, you’re representing something inaccessible.”

  3. My own coach has been threatened and harassed by women an unknown number of times because she is rich and successful.

These women have two things in common. They all run businesses that help other women, which they do exceptionally well. And they all publicly speak out on issues of social justice that are important to them.

Y’all. Enough is ENOUGH. This is the patriarchy talking, not the damn matriarchy.

Pitting women

In 2018 women HAVE to be activists.

In 2018 women HAVE to be imperfect.

In 2018 women HAVE to be given the space to be imperfect in their activism.

Agitate and advocate by bringing great sensitivity to your work. Have compassion and empathy for people who hold opposing views. Avoiding divisiveness is a key component to social change success.

Agitate and advocate by giving visibility to women. Engage in open, passionate, graceful revolution by RAISING women up instead of tearing women down.

We should be working towards FULL EQUALITY for women in 2018. Fuck shit up by being nice, by being kind, by not OTHERING women so that you can destroy their humanity and attack their very being.


It’s Friday…you know what to do, Dr. Melissa Bird

PS. If you’re ready to rise up and start raising hell…I’ve got SIX spots open in my coaching practice. I hope to see your email in my inbox before these spots are taken. Get more info here and apply today!


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