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Self care is a tool of the patriarchy

Last week I was walking the dogs and talking to a friend of mine on the phone. Somehow we got on the topic of self care. Now...I HATE the term “self care”. Yes I know there are whole programs around self care. Yes I know that you use it frequently to describe all the nice things you do for yourself but hear me out.

We will NEVER be able to “succeed” at self care. Why you ask?

Because other women will always criticize whether or not we do it perfectly.

Because men will never understand why we need to formally care for ourselves.

Because if we are poor we can never afford to do it right.

Because if we are rich there are not enough pedicures in the world to make us say, “No I won’t take that on.”

Because it is a privilege to engage in self care.

Back to my conversation with my friend. She was criticizing herself because she wasn’t taking time for self care. “There is no time,” she said.

This week I want to challenge you to stop thinking, “If I only had more time for self care everything would be better.” It won’t.

This week I want to challenge you to start thinking, “What is one small thing I could do right now that would make me smile?” Here is a little secret...I dance in front of the mirror to the song “Staying Alive” every morning and I laugh and laugh and laugh for 2 minutes.

Do what makes you feel good.

Fuck the patriarchy.

Screw self care.

Rock on,

Dr. Melissa Bird

PS. If you are looking for a life coach that will give you the confidence of a Dr. dancing naked in front of a mirror to make herself laugh, get on my schedule and let’s start grooving!


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