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On Burning Your Village then Building it Back Up

A few years ago I lost several dear friends.  Not to death, or illness, or accident. Just…lost them.  I did some things, they did some things, we did some things. And then before I knew it we simply weren’t talking anymore.  Many of them didn’t even tell me to go screw myself.  The whole thing would have been easier if they had. It devastated me.  I cried about it for months.  I wanted to die in agony wishing for closure.  Wishing for anything but how it felt to be alone with no village.

Fast forward to 2015.  My theme for this year is PEACE.  BIG GLITTERY PEACE.

Big Glittery Peace

Big Glittery Peace

I have been thinking about all of the friends that have come in and out of my life.  All of the people that have stuck around for the long haul.  All of the ones that are gone.  All the ones who have just started to play with me.

I realized something in a SISS, BOOM, BANG, KAPOW, BLAMO kind of a moment.

It is OK to burn down your village.

Say it with me, “IT IS OK TO BURN DOWN MY VILLAGE”.  With gusto. SCREAM IT if you have to.  “IT IS OK TO BURN DOWN MY VILLAGE”.

You know why?  Because then you get to rebuild it.  When I was rebuilding my village I was reaching out to mommies and all sorts of other women that I thought I wanted to be my friends and guess what?  I didn’t. More importantly THEY didn’t.  So why force it and listen I WAS FORCING IT.  Was I lonely? Yes.  Did I miss my gaggle of girls at my house all the time? Yes.


I have build a new village.  It is a village of women that I have met online, in person, at school.  It is my family members who I really, genuinely love spending time with.  It is my newly remodeled relationship with my sister that isn’t based on the past but built on the future.

It is the luscious old stand by’s who carry my history mixed in with the delicious new champions of my gorgeous bold world.

For just a moment, think of what you want 2015 to look like.

If there are people in your village that don’t speak truth to that vision, then burn down your village.  Clear the way for the Universe to welcome fierce newcomers into your world.  And then sit and wait because SISS, BOOM, BANG, KAPOW, BLAMO what you get from your new village will be a bazillion times more BADASS than the old one.

I promise.


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