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Making Harmony with Grief

Dear reader, how are you doing? Truth be told, I am a mess and the recent attempt at sedition at the United States Capitol put my mess right over the edge.

The last 10 months have presented all of us with a constant opportunity to grieve. It is a never-ending visitor at our doorstep and inside our walls. Death and black mold seeping into the crevices.

Anger - so much righteous fury

Bargaining - well maybe if I model good behavior this will end faster

Sadness - I am a damn good hugger...and damn do I miss hugging

Denial - this cannot possibly still be happening

Acceptance - it would appear I am doomed to stay home with these 4 humans, 2 dogs, and one 3 legged cat for infinity x 1000

Sometimes I wonder will this ever end? And within those moments of wonder, I realised the answer was to make harmony with my grief. I am no longer interested in avoiding the fact that I am both sad and happy all at the same time - all the time. I have been digging deep into my soul to squeeze out every ounce of bravery and wisdom I have collected in my 46 years of life. Bravery to be honest with myself about exactly what I am feeling every damn hour of the day. Wisdom to ground myself and breathe into the great knowing that all of this is preparing me for something even bigger when it is over.

One of my favorite ways to do that is to allow myself a space for tenderness. Tenderness for the collective fear of the Nation. Tenderness for my husband who is struggling to finish his last year of school. Tenderness for my children who are each grieving in their own remarkable ways.

How can you give yourself more tenderness?

My other favorite way to do this is to speak out and not be silent. Silence keeps us from living in the fullness of who we are at our core. Choosing to expand in my glorious, authentic, passionate voice feels like a great way to overcome these seemingly insurmountable circumstances.

What are you dying to say? Give yourself permission to say it.

Grief doesn’t come on a is just ever-present opportunity for growth.

There is a togetherness to grief. And in that togetherness is refuge. That might be why we are all trying to hide that sh*t isn't as rosy as we are trying to make it seem. We have no opportunity to collectively come together to grieve unimaginable losses.

The loss of loved ones.

The loss of movement.

The loss of autonomy.

The loss of democracy.

The loss of health.

Chaos, disorientation, and sadness are all a part of the unfolding of wisdom and glorious knowing. When we make harmony out of grief we can weave a tapestry of forward movement that benefits the entire collective.

The truth is, all shall be well, but it might take longer than we would like to imagine. By making harmony with our grief, we release and heal the pain we hold in our hearts. When we release the pain, we create room for love, intuition, and magic. Align with what is truly important to YOU and stand strong in what you know in your heart to be true.

You are supported and loved. Dr. Melissa Bird


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