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Rip Your Chest Open and Fillet your Soul

I am finished. Done. It is over.

One year of a PhD program under my belt. One more year of raising three beautiful children under my belt. One more year of focusing on loving my other half under my belt. One more year of consciously embracing my BADASS self under my belt.

I am in the middle of recovery.  This last year was one of the most spiritually fulfilling, expansive, emotional, rip your chest open and fillet your soul spilling years of my life.

I have never sobbed harder while smiling at the same time.  Never feared more losing this family that I have built around me.  Never feared more having the earth open up and swallow me whole because…well…this is just too good.

I am doing a 1,000 piece puzzle while getting to know my new rowing machine while reading one book every two days (all fiction please) while discovering Angel Food wine while laying in bed reading with my 3 and 6 year olds while trying to navigate the 12 year old angst while giggling madly with my handsome partner while becoming a doctor while LIVING THE LIFE I HAVE ONLY DREAMED ABOUT!!!

Today, a red tailed hawk keeps flying by my window in downtown Los Angeles reminding me to use the power of visioning to bring focus to my life.  To stay clear in the world I am building.  To embrace magic, keep dreaming big, and say open and vulnerable…widely splayed to the universe to receive such magnificent gifts of love.

Wide Open Heart

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