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10 Things I Wouldn’t Have Done if I Stayed Afraid of CRITICISM!

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10. Built a BOMB ASS following online! That has led to connections with: Magical Feminists Kick Ass Academics Gorgeous friendships Glorious politicians

9. Pursued and obtained a PhD! I had mediocre grades, nearly failed statistics, and was told that my work was irrelevant.

8. Gone to a therapist! I was going through post-divorce insanity back in 2010. Going to therapy meant that I had to look at my own failings and it also got me to start praying to something bigger than me for the first time in my life. Connecting to myself created magical space.

7. Told my mom I needed her to apologize for my childhood! This opened up our relationship and led to me seeing her as a woman…not just a mom. Now I know that I can trust her implicitly!

6. Written and submitted my 1st article for publication! Social Justice Advocacy in the Belly of the Beast is my manifesto and my first article! Taking the risk to publish that first piece has led to 9 more academic articles, 1 book, being a contributor on Kind Over Matter and Rewire News, a successful blog, and a KICK ASS advocacy training called Marginalized No More!

5. Done the things I was meant to do! I am doing some really radical shit that really puts me up front and center and opens me up for a world of CRITICISM! I am:

An Author – A Coach – A Professor – A Mentor An Advocate – An Inspirer – A Resister – A Revolutionary – A Lobbyist – A Badass

4. Gone to Scotland against my husbands wishes! I went on a retreat with some really remarkable women last spring. And my husband nearly lost his mind over it. But I did it anyway and it has led me to some magical gifts including but not limited to:

  1. Coaching with Susan Hyatt

  2. Creativity in my own business

  3. Reconnection to myself

  4. A community of women all of the world

  5. Presenting at the Be Golden conference


3. Told the truth about loving my husband! When I got together with my husband we faced (and still face) a LOT of criticism. BUT, I said fuck that, I have to be true to my heart. That has led to the most honest relationship I have ever had, my longest relationship EVER, the deepest most SENSUAL relationship ever, and an opportunity to me a MOM!

2. Become a leader! I am a leader in the communities where I live. I get to touch lives and create endless, passionate possibility. This has led to me being exposed to the public, has connected me with sheroes and heroes, has created a practice of gratitude for all the lessons that I learn, and has allowed me to inspire my kiddos!

And the number one thing that I would not have done if I would have stayed afraid is…

1. SLAYED THE PATRIARCHY! WOAH hello criticism! Being out as a feminist has meant that I have engaged in a healthy dose of:

  1. Self-reflection on my own inner asshat

  2. Granting myself permission to be an imperfect activist and use my voice despite my imperfection

  3. Inspiring of others

The next time you become afraid of criticism, think about what you might be missing by staying stuck. Here is a link to a super fun video of me talking about my Top 10 list!

I am currently taking 5 coaching clients for 2018. This is the time to pull out the big guns in our lives and in our politics. Advocacy is not just about changing your community, it is also about changing your own life. Give yourself the gift of badass coaching with Dr. Melissa Bird. Click HERE for more information!

Cause some mayhem, raise some hell! Dr. Melissa Bird


Do you want do dig deep into your passion and ignite the flames of change? Join me in January for this AMAZEBALLS workshop in Massachusetts!

Sponsored by Skincatering Inc., ChikMedia, & Women’s Fund of Western Mass – this breakfast event is going to be EPIC! Tickets are going fast, reserve yours today.


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