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Eff Sh*t Up Friday – When your hate mail is a backhanded HELL YES!

Tomorrow and Saturday I am co-facilitating a workshop with anyone from our community that wants to participate.

There was even a nice little article in the paper about it that one of the ladies from church emailed me so I wouldn’t miss it.


The homeless issue in Corvallis is DIVISIVE. There is no real shelter for those finding themselves without homes. There is no real consensus about how to move forward.

A few days ago I received the following email that was forwarded to me by one of the attendees. Now, I could have allowed this email to decimate me but I gotta tell y’all, this is the greatest backhanded compliment I have ever received.

A few key points: 1. The woman who wrote this email has never met me. 2. She has never seen me. 3. She doesn’t follow me on social media. 4. We are total and complete strangers. 5. I may or may not have editorialized with some comments you can see in red.

Dear attendee,

I saw this in the GT last week which prompted me to do a bit of background research on Dr. Bird, her credentials and professional standing.  I read through a few of her abstracts. She has a good number of publications regarding assertive feminism. But there was one article in particular that caught my attention on how to effect ‘social justice’, to advocate and claim territory for any type of social policy.  Her tool list includes lobbying (EVIL), coalition building (GASP), engaging (infiltrating) the opposite camp (DIRTY), cultivating relationships (EWWW), collaboration (NOOOO), connecting with local media (BAD IDEA), writing op-eds and contacting reporters (Journalism is dead). You can read it here: “Social Justice Advocacy in the Belly of the Beast: An Illustration of Policy Change for Social Work”.

Upon reading it’s obvious Ms. Bird has an outsized ego (Unapologetically so).  Her writing style is rapid-fire (In fact it has been described as a freight train) and she doesn’t pull any punches. She’s probably brilliant (UH DUH). Dollars to donuts she’s been recruited in order to help those behind the shelter cause get their message out. (NOPE I actually do this for a living all over the country) That being said, she might actually have some good ideas the “opposition” could borrow. Knowing the “enemy’s” tactics is always a good idea. (I am pretty sure that this lady just plagarized my work)

But what worries me more than anything is that there is a false (non-voting) yet vociferous consensus being built around the many undefined and mal-defined problems we are faced with in the downtown homeless issue.  What we don’t need at this point is non-critical, emotional appeal that has little basis in fact. (Didn’t you just do that?)

I implore you to consider that a regimented, methodical process will do more to solve the long-term homeless issue than the pabulum that may come from well-meaning yet uninformed activists that this forum endeavors to inspire. (1. not uninformed, 2. process rocks)

I sincerely admire your fortitude in trying to solve the HOAC dilemmas and attempts to find a pragmatic solution to the downtown homeless situation. But in my view it should occur logically and systematically….not by means of an echo chamber.

Perhaps we could discuss this over coffee? Kind Regards, Lady who has no idea who Dr. Melissa Bird, PhD is


I hope that in sharing this email with you that you can take away 5 main things: 1. Assertive feminism ROCKS! 2. Yes ma’am I am indeed brilliant, so are all my supporters. 3. If cultivating relationships and coalition building is bad then I don’t want to be good. 4. I am actually accomplishing my goals. My voice is being heard. My message is coming across. WOWZA this is AWESOME! 5. When someone tries to shut you up, it is your job and duty to get louder and louder and louder until everyone can hear you! GET LOUD!

I know that sometimes people are afraid of me. I know that I am epic and have a big voice. I know that the Graceful Revolution is about sometimes pissing people off. I would rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.

whiskey and tea

It is Friday, let’s fuck shit up and make a change, Dr. Melissa Bird

I am doing one of my EPIC Fanning the Flames workshops at the Superwoman Society on 9/20/18 in Seattle, Washington!

Reserve your spot! BUY YOUR $40 TICKET TODAY!

Dr. Melissa Bird’s Fanning the Flames workshop is a call to action for anyone who wants to change the world. Missy is overflowing with passion, knowledge, and experience and she will invite you to find a corner of the world you’re passionate about changing. Then she’ll give you the tools to make it happen. If you have a chance to attend one of Missy’s events, you will leave fired up and ready to hit the ground running.

-Becky Drinnen, Adoptee Rights Advocate


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