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In 2017 I am…


Photography by Nathalie Gordon

Fierce, on fire, lit up, inspired, out of control, raging, pissed off, revolutionary, Joan of Arc personified, Guinevere exemplified, smart, happy, joyous, sassy, laughter, sparkles, bubbles, tickles, spunk, pissed off, lit up, rising rising rising, rich, voluptuous, badass, vibrant, abundant, loaded, delicious, fabulous, energetic, healthy, muscular, funny, interested, attentive, awake, woke, staying woke, damn my whole entire house is woke and we will not be deterred, focused, diligent, Wonder Woman, lit up, fucking dead sexy, pointed, organized, going with the flow, listening to my body, listening to my soul, tuned in, turned on, punk rock, heavy metal, smooth jazz, inspiring, sister, vivacious, determined, kind, love, diplomatic, professorial, nurturing, independent, relaxed, embracing my stress, releasing my stress, bossy, funny, inclusive, queer, passionate, going grey, a believer in causes, a leader in causes, the originator of causes, I am the god damned cause, I am the bringer of the Mists of Avalon, the high priestess, the witch they could not burn, the granddaughter of the witch they did burn, the harbinger of gratitude, grateful, grace, humble, creative, mom, momo, mommy, wife, partner, sex goddess, diva, creative, best friend, lover, fighter, scrappy, divine, goddess, multi-faceted, diverse, iridescent, fast, passionate, smart, courageous, eloquent, hilarious, tenacious, empowering, resourceful, engaging, impassioned, fiery, go-getting, a teacher, a mentor, compassionate, empathetic, dynamic, intelligent, a leader, fierce, sassy, free.

Oh my goddess in 2017 I am so free. Free to teach. Free to make oodles of money. Free to finish my fucking website and go speak all over the world about empowering women and girls. Free to write my book, Journey of the Modern Virgin: Stories of women in America. Free to go on a book tour. Free to do my research, get my grants funded, be the expert in the room. Free to hike and walk anywhere I want to. Free to camp once a month, take long drives to the Oregon coast, fly to San Francisco to see my “big gay boyfriend” whenever I want to. Free to clean out my entire closet and buy new clothes. Free to buy new clogs from Sandgrens. Free to finally get rid of all the high heels I don’t wear anymore because let’s just be honest, they hurt my damn feet. Free to admit my weaknesses and not be afraid that someone will exploit them. Free to finally be free of patriarchy in my own mind. Free to fully embrace the matriarchy in a way that welcomes me into the bosom of woman united. Free to stop bitching and start my own fucking revolution once and for all. Free to listen to podcasts about becoming a minimalist and then not do anything they say and not feel guilty about it. Free to buy the biggest, reddest, glitteriest, most full of tulle ball gown and then wear it while gardening and drinking coffee and doing laundry and taking my dogs for a walk.

In 2017 I am the divine expression of the way that my children see me. I am awesome, strict, loving, caring, and nice. I am a leader, strong, fierce, honest, and kind. I am awesome, beautiful, love, mom, happy.

In 2017 I am the divine expression of the way that my husband sees me. I am smart, sweet, dedicated, inspiring, and amazing.

In 2017 I am patient, prayerful, powerful. I am leaving a mark, embodying bravery and integrity in a way that is beneficial for this new nation of hate. I surrender and accept that I have no control and that the Universe always, always has my back. I am a spectacular expression of liquid love and I am adding to the thriving of the world through my burning, orgasmic, powerful writing. I am leaving a mark and transforming the world through the magic of my imagination and my dreams for the future. I am sitting amidst extraordinary moments of gratitude while I am living a life of imperfection and magic, drinking tea. I am receiving whatever is of the highest service for me and for the world while I engage in masterful conversations with my future self.

In 2017 I am the embodiment of the Phoenix rising. I can do anything I want because I am everything worthy and right and good. I am fierce fire and I am changing women’s’ and girl’s worlds on a grand scale. I am teaching and empowering and rising up women to believe in the beauty of their dreams. I am living Brendan Gill’s two rules of life, the first of which is to have a good time, the second of which is to hurt as few people as possible in the course of doing so. I am living the life that my grandparents dreamed for me as a child. I am finding the blessings through the eyes of my children and I am relishing in the loving touch of my sons snuggling cheek, Gwen’s questions about witchcraft and the earth, Katelynn’s belief in kicking patriarchy’s ass.

In 2017 I am in a little house built from love, surrounded by trees and flowers and the smells that come from summer turning into fall, drinking tea with my husband in our “Up” chairs in front of the fireplace, dreaming of adventures yet embarked on. I am sitting with myself in the stillness of my writing room, surrounded by books, inspiring quotes, whitewashed walls and rainbow pillows, dreaming of stories yet to be told. I am holding inspired dinner parties connecting strangers in their shared humanity to discuss politics, love, sex, life, and living.

In 2017 I am gracefully and fully stepping into the next half of my life, relishing in the spectacular glory of my glittering and gorgeous existence, realizing once and for all that I am a divinely delicious human who rocks my life so fucking hard there is no other human being I would rather be with but myself.


Photography by Nathalie Gordon

In 2017 I am badass, full on, balls out, punk rock, fantastically fervently free.


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